SEARCHING FOR HAPPINESS WITH Style by V

Everyone chases after happiness, not noticing that happiness is right at their heels.

Bertolt Brecht

You wish to be happy, you do everything to be happy and you think that tomorrow it will be time for happiness. Is it a state of mind or just a lifestyle to be happy when chasing shadows of the future with a loneliness and disappointment at the end? Are you ready to pay for the goods you’ve never seen, spending years and years for the reality that exists only in your mind? Isn’t it easier to be here and now enjoying lifetime on the Earth?

Most of young people keep looking for the happiness all over the world and take trips overseas in search of something what they have at home. Something, that is waiting for them to become wise enough to forget their ambitions and to be able to accept it “as is” without an attempt to modify its essence. People often mix gifts with things received for granted, thereby missing their chance they are blessed with. They need time and huge life experience to distinguish real happiness between a number of fakes.

Once my friend told me prophetic words for me, and I still keep them in my mind: “Either you were into him, and he wasn't, or he was into you but you weren't at the time.” In most cases all of us  need time, because it’s much more difficult to keep the fire in the fireplace than to make it. And if someone did happen to find what he was looking for, he should cherish those feelings keeping vital energy whatever.

I wouldn’t write this note, but I would like to share my own experience of nearly missing my happiness. I didn’t notice that it was always at my heels, even when I was wearing flats…

SIMPLE TRUTH

When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. Unknown

The most mysterious feeling, love, has the simplest essence, but we never know when we will be trapped… In fact, people always say indirectly what they feel, but we do not notice the verbal signs or gestures being absorbed in a daily routine. 

Have you ever heard the way your name sounds when it is pronounced by someone who loves you? I’ve never thought about this until I came across the above mentioned quote. I remembered all the people who experienced or still experience warmth and tenderness to me. Maybe some of them never spoke about their feelings, but I could sense that affection and love when they were pronouncing my name. It sounds in a different and more sophisticated way that I can’t describe or put into words… Same letters, same name, but huge difference in meaning and various emotions… We can’t hide real feelings and warmth, even though we try hard, in order not to show our weakness. At least we think it is weakness, but in fact, it is a real power and exceptional ability to expose feelings in a delicate, elegant and intelligent way without showing pride and arrogance.

When it comes to sympathy, we become more sensitive and vulnerable absorbing every detail of a partner’s behavior. Sometimes we are taken aback when talking to a person we like, but it shows our sympathy to a partner. Sometimes it tells you: “Oops, you’ve been ensnared by mysterious feelings…” Love is like a wildflower, you never know where and when you will find it…

One simple quote stopped me for a while to think of people I love and to estimate what I have. My next note is for you to read and recollect the people you passed by, paying no attention to the tender sounding of somebody’s voice…  

TO WIN HIM WITH STYLE BY V

I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning how to sail my ship. Louisa May Alcott

This note is mostly related to women’s audience, but I guess men won’t miss an opportunity to get closer to women’s reality…

A power of every woman lies in her ability to surrender and lose a bet. It makes her a winner in a uniquely feminine way without offending man’s ego and pride. She is able to remove mountains without pushing them. A woman is the only lovely and graceful creature who has an exceptional ability to win by defeating and defeat by winning.  

A Canadian feminist and 1951-1956 mayor of Ottawa, Charlotte Whitton, once said: “Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good.” Occasionally, women choose wrong directions preferring to be ambitious and independent in their efforts to bring success, beauty and courtesy to men. A wise woman is not afraid of any fighting or battle, for she knows when to surrender in order to succeed and gain a victory. She has a clear, but I’d rather say it is still blurred, understanding of a male dominant world: he remains a hunter and conqueror of a woman’s destiny. 

When it comes to love affair, their relationship looks like an impressive dance contest, where he moves her around the ballroom, and she follows him gracefully, elegantly and seductively while moving her own challenging directions…

BAD BOY, GOOD GIRL, GOOD BOY, BAD GIRL

She: “For some unknown reason, bad-boys draw you in despite the fact they are jerks”. Alexis Bledel

He: "Women are like cell phones. They like to be held and talked to, but push the wrong button, and you'll be disconnected." Unknown

Even being grown up, we keep looking for hide-and-seek or cat-and-mouse games that warm up our mind and body. I always wondered why good girls go mad about bad boys and good boys attract bad girls. Is it a perfect match or something we need to reveal inside? Probably it’s something that one partner misses and wants to meet a lack of it with the help of another one to create a hot mix. Maybe sometimes we want someone to push that wrong button to be out of a system, experiencing true and real life. 

Well, I guess we can list tons of explanations, but I know for sure, that we become drawn toward intense and dramatic relations with a lot of obstacles and limitations on the way. We do not prefer those which are to be taken easily. If relations appear to be forbidden, it agitates mind even more and more, making you stubborn about seducing a man/woman you are interested in and getting him/her to fall for you. You prefer to seduce and be seduced whatever. We usually adore projecting situations and creating dangerous games for our mind. It makes us move forward in attempt to win a set, thereby testing inner power, logic, flexibility. 

American poet Maya Angelou once said: “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel”.  

Maybe we need someone, who dares to push a disconnecting button and inflame passion, savoring every moment despite the fact if it’s bad or good…  

LEADING ACTORS OF DIFFERENT FILMS

We are so sorry for losing some freedom

You and I are so much of the same breed

Yes, we are too much alike

So, we are bound to be chosen

For the roles of completely casual passers-by

And I’m screaming – stop shooting a film

This film I’ve seen before

Hey, director finish that shooting

But he just mocks in his lens like a target.

(specially translated for you from Russian)

Brainstorm, “Wind”

P.S. When thinking over the words of this song I felt like crying. I guess you would never find a person who didn’t happen to experience the same feelings. We have so much in common and look so much alike, but we are chosen for different roles of accidental passers-by. I just recollect the film plot of my love experience and the people who used to be the main characters... We used to be the reflection of each other, sometimes it seems we are of the same nature and breed… We look absolutely like-minded and have the same bright ideas for the single undivided future. And why does it happen that we can’t be together when it comes to rewards? I’ve been thinking about it a lot, but once I heard this song, I couldn’t help writing this article. That was not me who was writing these words, it was the words that were writing a simple life story being created by someone for us. We consider ourselves to be the creators of our relations and common being. We believe with awe that we can save those dearest feelings and relations, building our characters. Sometimes we are cheating ourselves… Someone - a life director - is shooting another successful film with a different and surprising end for us. Time passes by and you get a clear understanding that you were leading actors and actresses for two different films. There was a period you were to be together to share your experience, life skills and knowledge for brilliant playing the leading role of your life.

When looking at the very beginning of my film, I smile and my soul is getting warmer of those sweet memories. This is the life with its take-off and landing…

But still can’t get it: why do like-minded people happen to be apart?

Many thanks to my mysterious sister Alina for inspiring me and bringing this article to you!