SEARCHING FOR HAPPINESS WITH Style by V

Everyone chases after happiness, not noticing that happiness is right at their heels.

Bertolt Brecht

You wish to be happy, you do everything to be happy and you think that tomorrow it will be time for happiness. Is it a state of mind or just a lifestyle to be happy when chasing shadows of the future with a loneliness and disappointment at the end? Are you ready to pay for the goods you’ve never seen, spending years and years for the reality that exists only in your mind? Isn’t it easier to be here and now enjoying lifetime on the Earth?

Most of young people keep looking for the happiness all over the world and take trips overseas in search of something what they have at home. Something, that is waiting for them to become wise enough to forget their ambitions and to be able to accept it “as is” without an attempt to modify its essence. People often mix gifts with things received for granted, thereby missing their chance they are blessed with. They need time and huge life experience to distinguish real happiness between a number of fakes.

Once my friend told me prophetic words for me, and I still keep them in my mind: “Either you were into him, and he wasn't, or he was into you but you weren't at the time.” In most cases all of us  need time, because it’s much more difficult to keep the fire in the fireplace than to make it. And if someone did happen to find what he was looking for, he should cherish those feelings keeping vital energy whatever.

I wouldn’t write this note, but I would like to share my own experience of nearly missing my happiness. I didn’t notice that it was always at my heels, even when I was wearing flats…

TINY WORLD WITH Style by V

There is no such place as far away. Richard Bach

Kyiv, Moscow, Rome, San Francisco, New York, Amsterdam… there is no distance between cities when you are warmed up by the burst of energy of your family, and your true reliable friends. You may feel and enjoy the family warmth of Kyiv, tempo of Moscow, power of Rome, diversity of San Francisco, nightlife of New York, and ease of Amsterdam being somewhere on the French Riviera… These strong ties make you feel the host when you are just a guest.

Leaving a part of the sincere feelings in the next city we stop by, the rest of them we keep deep inside in the heart, cherishing the priceless memories we’ve been blessed to experience. And if someone tells me the distance may ruin the relationship or friendship, I’ll be the first one to protest and argue. I was the one to feel the presence and support of the family, and at the same time, to have the conversation with the friends never saying a word, and being overseas. The question is: “Does this person really want to be with you?” Those, who are not into you, are always in search of lame excuses for a perfect escape. Probably they help you by avoiding you, because “life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends we choose” (Tennessee Williams, American playwright). Life itself cleans up a friends’ list, making a wise choice instead of you.

Distance is the problem that has been settled in the heads of the majority creating problems for peaceful coexistence. For example, when an acrobat takes safety equipment during performance, it helps him to feel confident and secure enough despite the fact that he may not use it. Safety! This is his state of mind when he is supported by all that stuff. So, I guess it’s time to get rid of old stereotypes, and change our state of mind to the one named “There Is No Such Place As Far Away” that makes us closer to our families and friends.

P.S. Many thanks to all of my friends who accepted me the way I’m, leaving everlasting footprints that have made my path easier, safe and more comfortable to walk along.

BUILDING LIFE PYRAMID WITH Style by V

A man paints with his brains and not with his hands. Michelangelo 

Sometimes it looks like dead end is reached, and the way is lost. It may seem the circle is closed, and there is no way to unlock it. The solution is probably closer than you might think, and it is the biggest mistake to think you made a mistake when you entered the circle…

Life is like a large layer cake that takes you years to bake it; remove one of the layers and the taste is different. It is a huge pyramid that is built piece by piece, layer by layer, hour by hour, day by day, year by year… Have you ever watched kids building a toy pyramid? They choose the parts very carefully matching every piece to find the right one. It doesn’t mean they make mistakes, they just look for the part that fits perfect. This is what our life about. We need to find the parts that make it possible to put our own lifeline together. Building process is similar to building a house: it seems nothing is done when you work over the foundation, but when it is finished, the way to put up the walls is easy and fast. It takes a lot of efforts to lay the foundation, but at the same time, it gives you a chance to build your own beautiful and fabulous castle. When I speak about the castle, I mean not only the place to live, though it is important, I’m talking about that beautiful inner world and balance that all of us keep looking for the whole life long. Life starts with your state of mind, and if you are okay, outer world is fine as well. 

Life is about projecting the situations and creating the solutions by making mistakes. Probably these mistakes are the solutions that help to create a unique life story… a complete colorful pyramid of full value.

SIMPLE TRUTH

When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. Unknown

The most mysterious feeling, love, has the simplest essence, but we never know when we will be trapped… In fact, people always say indirectly what they feel, but we do not notice the verbal signs or gestures being absorbed in a daily routine. 

Have you ever heard the way your name sounds when it is pronounced by someone who loves you? I’ve never thought about this until I came across the above mentioned quote. I remembered all the people who experienced or still experience warmth and tenderness to me. Maybe some of them never spoke about their feelings, but I could sense that affection and love when they were pronouncing my name. It sounds in a different and more sophisticated way that I can’t describe or put into words… Same letters, same name, but huge difference in meaning and various emotions… We can’t hide real feelings and warmth, even though we try hard, in order not to show our weakness. At least we think it is weakness, but in fact, it is a real power and exceptional ability to expose feelings in a delicate, elegant and intelligent way without showing pride and arrogance.

When it comes to sympathy, we become more sensitive and vulnerable absorbing every detail of a partner’s behavior. Sometimes we are taken aback when talking to a person we like, but it shows our sympathy to a partner. Sometimes it tells you: “Oops, you’ve been ensnared by mysterious feelings…” Love is like a wildflower, you never know where and when you will find it…

One simple quote stopped me for a while to think of people I love and to estimate what I have. My next note is for you to read and recollect the people you passed by, paying no attention to the tender sounding of somebody’s voice…  

TO WIN HIM WITH STYLE BY V

I'm not afraid of storms, for I'm learning how to sail my ship. Louisa May Alcott

This note is mostly related to women’s audience, but I guess men won’t miss an opportunity to get closer to women’s reality…

A power of every woman lies in her ability to surrender and lose a bet. It makes her a winner in a uniquely feminine way without offending man’s ego and pride. She is able to remove mountains without pushing them. A woman is the only lovely and graceful creature who has an exceptional ability to win by defeating and defeat by winning.  

A Canadian feminist and 1951-1956 mayor of Ottawa, Charlotte Whitton, once said: “Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good.” Occasionally, women choose wrong directions preferring to be ambitious and independent in their efforts to bring success, beauty and courtesy to men. A wise woman is not afraid of any fighting or battle, for she knows when to surrender in order to succeed and gain a victory. She has a clear, but I’d rather say it is still blurred, understanding of a male dominant world: he remains a hunter and conqueror of a woman’s destiny. 

When it comes to love affair, their relationship looks like an impressive dance contest, where he moves her around the ballroom, and she follows him gracefully, elegantly and seductively while moving her own challenging directions…