CHASING SHADOWS OR LOOKING FOR IDEALS THROUGH STYLE BY V.

Ideals are like a shining star, which most of us worship from afar.

Esmeralda’s prophecies, Disneyland Resort

‘It’s a long road which has no turn and if you work with your ideals as a blazing star in the sky, to lure you upward and onward, you will accomplish all that you set out to do’. That was my prophecy that I got from Disneyland’s Esmeralda. It’s a simple slot machine, but I was standing like a child with fixed stare directed straight in her eyes and waiting for the words truly believing in their magic. People say there is no pure accident, fortuity of a meeting or a word pronounced by a chance and I made up my mind to try my destiny. It’s not about me to do things like this, but I have no idea what invisible power moved me at that very moment. Perhaps the place did its best as I was in fairytale and I could smell its mystery in the air. That was a fairyland for adults, but usually people name it Disneyland – special resort for kids. Still I may argue for whom in fact that park was invented, but it’s not about this. The statement on my pass says: ‘Disneyland resort, where dreams come true’. I read it and smiled again making a wish on ideals that perhaps exist only in my imagination. Our mind, fantasy, a kind of illusion or imagination is a secret garden where we keep them, grow up, tend, cherish and cultivate, but when we get it, we become disappointed and give way to despair. The real picture and the real image don’t coincide with the one we give birth in our head and soul. The reality doesn’t go along with the scenario we created for ourselves. Each of us plays his own role by his own scenario that differs from the other ones. You worship people and things painting them in the brightest colors, but once you meet the reality you see only black and white silhouettes.

You create your own ideals following them blindly and hopelessly until you reach the vacuum bottom that has been created around you in attempt to catch it. They are like your own shadows that are impossible to be ensnared. More you get closer to them, more distant they become. You work hard on your mental, physical and spiritual development to reach the level of your ideal, to correspond it, to be equal with it, but once you reach the same level (as it seems to you), you recognize it is left far away behind you and it makes you create a new one. It reminds me of non-stop marathon with one winner only. What makes us create ideals with our own world? It appears like a mini theater, a world inside of the world. Is it a kind of escape from reality?

Being grown up and mature I still believe in fairytale like kids have strong faith in Mickey Mouse and Tinker Bell. I truly believe that one day there will be a performance premiere by my own scenario as I have inexhaustible trust in world’s beauty, brightness, vividness and kindness. We brighten up the world with soft and mild colors of our actions and thoughts like kids revive books’ colorless pictures making them vivid and blazing.